Relationship appearances. Let’s get real with it

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Have you found yourself comparing the quality of your relationship (or your relationship status) to what other people show online?

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I notice most people (including me) share the highlights, best practices and best moments of their relationship (which is cool!), but we rarely ever share our challenges and our experience on overcoming them

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Since my commitment is to be more real with ya’ll, my approach will be a little bit different

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Here’s the truth:

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While Im in a deeply fulfilling relationship with a super high quality man where we stimulate, support and meet each other on many levels

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The truth is that

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👉🏻We still have disagreements

👉🏻We still have difficult conversations

👉🏻We still get triggered by each other’s shit

👉🏻We still moments where we say things we don't really mean and have to clean it up after

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Example:

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Having kids.

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We don't fully agree on this topic

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Jacob wants kids in the next year or two. He finds so much fulfillment in having a family.

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Me? I see myself creating more in the world, without having the responsibility of taking care of another human. I don't desire to have kids anytime soon

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This triggers all of our shit

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😩My freedom feels attacked

😩He questions my commitment

😩Expectations get created

Amongst many other things

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But we’ve worked through all of this

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How?

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1️⃣When it comes to sensitive topics we’re mindful of our tone and we don't pose ultimatums on each other

“IF YOU DON’T WANT KIDS WE’RE BREAKING UP” —> Bad idea. Partnership is about co-creation, not imposing your rules on the other person. Seek to understand

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2️⃣We take the time to relate to each other and have empathy

We get each other’s worlds and the deeper reason WHY we want what we want.

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3️⃣Our relationship is founded on shared values, not on expectations

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We both value family, and Jacob knows I want one, eventually

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This is where patience and communication have helped us get aligned and remind each other our commitment and desire to create a life together, regardless of when we have kids.

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My reminder today: Let go of the “manual” of what you think your partner "should" be.

Be patient, co-create.

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Relationships aren't perfect- they're always a work in progress!

 

Juliana Garcia

SoulFul Marketing

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